Create Friendships You Love & That Love You Back!

Three daring questions to get clear on who you really want to call ?friend?

If you were asked, ?What?s the biggest challenge you face to create the friendships you really want?? what would you say?

I?m going to let you in on a secret - your biggest challenge is not time or the inability to meet new people. Your biggest challenge is you. You determine both the quantity and quality of your friendships based on who you are and how well you know who you want as a girlfriend, regardless of who?s in your circle today. Think about it. You wouldn?t consider dating or getting married without giving thought to who your mate is. Yet, even though we have close, intimate relationships with our friends, we rarely give conscious thought to the kind of people they are. Instead, we choose friends by chance or duty, and with the busy lives we lead, you can?t afford to waste your friend-time on friendships based on obligation or on friendships that take more than they give.

If you?ve never stopped to ask yourself questions like, ?What kind of people do I want in my life? Does my current circle of friends reflect the kind of energy I want to surround myself with?? chances are you are missing out on some great friendship opportunities, and spending too much energy on ones that don?t give you what you really want.
If you know who you want as a friend, you?re much more likely to attract that kind of person into your life. And they are much more likely to fit the life you are creating for yourself. So do yourself a favor and take the time to get clear on who you really want to call friend and why. Ask yourself the following questions using the action activities to get you crystal clear on your answers.

Three Questions For Creating Fabulous Friendships

QUESTION ONE:? Why do I want friends?
It seems like a no-brainer question, who doesn't want friends. right? True, but this is a question worth answering because your response will tell you a lot about what you expect friendships to do for you. We all have different motivations - most of us just don?t know what they are.

Action: Play the Why Game. The game is simple, keep asking yourself ?Why? over and over again until you get to core of your motivation. Here?s how it works: Start by asking, ?Why do I want friends?? Say you respond with, ?To have people to hang out with.? Then ask, ?Why do I? want people to hang out with?? Answer. Then again, ask ?Why?? to the answer to that question. Repeat at least four times. And when you get your final answer, ask ?Why is this important to me??

QUESTION TWO: Who are the people I want as friends (regardless of who I am friends with now)?

Paint a picture in your heart of the people you want as friends, as if you were Picasso. Don?t think about the peeps in your life today. Imagine the kind of beings you want to make your life even better.

Action: Do a Friendship Visualization. Close your eyes and imagine yourself connected to the energy of this fantastic tribe you want to surround yourself with. Look closely into their eyes and paint a picture in your mind of who they are. Let yourself see them. Are these people self-empowered? Compassionate? Living their dreams? Or are they friends that revel in drama? Play small? Or take more than they give? Feeling into them, see them for who they truly are:

o?? ?What is important to them?
o?? ?What are their gifts?
o?? ?How do they live?
o?? ?Why is friendship important to them?

Action: Create Your Friendship Story. After you?ve visualized this tribe, write a full, juicy paragraph or two describing these people? a story that when you read it back to yourself, connects deeply to your heart and soul. Don?t just blurt an answer out off the cuff, or create a long list of attributes. Go beyond the surface and into the essence of who these beings are. Tell their story. It?s the difference between painting a Picasso and drafting a PowerPoint presentation. After you write it out, read it out loud and commit to drawing these people into your life.

QUESTION THREE: What Friendships Do I Have Today in Need of A Makeover?

Just like you go into your closet once a season, it?s a good idea to go through your friendships to see which ones are needing some love and attention, which ones may not fit anymore, and which ones are solid classics that tie anything together.

Action: Do A Relationship Inventory. On a piece of paper, write down all of your friendships ? anyone you have a relationship with, no matter how much you talk or don?t. Then one by one, go through each relationship and rate it as one of these three and then take the action prescribed:

• GROW ? these relationships have potential to grow deeper and stronger, to make your life better. Put energy here. Make a date with this person, be proactive at reaching out, making connection and expressing your gratitude.
• MAINTAIN ? these friendships are fine. They don?t really need to go deeper, and they are neutral or positive forces in your life. Leave these as is and be grateful for what they are.
• TRANSFORM ? these relationships take energy from your life. They create drama, drain, guilt, obligation, stress, gossip, etc. These must change. Either they need to be re-habbed to fit your life in a positive way or they need to be let go. To transform, first get clear on what you want from this person and your relationship. What does it give you that you want to keep? And then ask what would need to shift to make it an energy-producing, love-producing part of your life? And lastly, ask yourself, what do I need to shift about myself to do my part to make this so. Once you are clear on these three things, share what you want and need from this relationship with the person, and ask them, ?I?d love to keep our relationship going and I think we can make it even better for both of us. And are you interested in creating this together?? They're reaction will tell you everything. If yes, great! You have a keeper. If no, that?s one to let go. Go to your Friendship Story and focus on creating the relationships you really want.

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Christine Arylo, m.b.a., is an inspirational catalyst, teacher and self-love author who teaches people how to put their most important partnership first, the one with themselves, so that they can create the life their souls crave. The popular author of the go-to book on relationships Choosing ME before WE and the NEW! self-love handbook, Madly in Love with ME, the Daring Adventure to Becoming Your Own Best Friend, she?s affectionately known as the ?Queen of Self-Love.? Arylo founded the International Day of Self-Love on Feb 13th and is the co-founder of the self-love and empowerment school for women, Inner Mean Girl Reform School.??www.ChooseSelfLove.com

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Source: http://thedailylove.com/create-friendships-you-love-that-love-you-back/

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